Mad Cows by Kathy Lette Online

Mad Cows
Title : Mad Cows
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780330334020
Language : English
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 304

Maddy's first day out with her newborn takes a Kafkaesque turn when she's arrested in Harrods for shoplifting. If this isn't already a miscarriage of justice, then being detained in Holloway's Mother and Baby Unit at the local prison is the D&C. Panicked at the thought of losing her child in a forced adoption, she has newborn Jack smuggled to freedom in her friend GillMaddy's first day out with her newborn takes a Kafkaesque turn when she's arrested in Harrods for shoplifting. If this isn't already a miscarriage of justice, then being detained in Holloway's Mother and Baby Unit at the local prison is the D&C. Panicked at the thought of losing her child in a forced adoption, she has newborn Jack smuggled to freedom in her friend Gillian's handbag but worries ferociously about the move because Gillian has the maternal instincts of a guppy fish. Finding herself in jail and as a runner up in the human race, the only person Maddy can turn to is her hot to trot ex-lover Alex who proves to be as useful as a solar powered vibrator on a rainy day. The only trouble with Alex is his sex appeal of which he gives generously. Will Maddy ever escape the clutches of the prison psychologist Edwina Phelps (emphasis on psycho!). Will she ever be able to see Alex for what he really is - a self-made man who worships his creator? When will Alex realize that a "paternity suit" is not the latest look in men's leisurewear? How does one brief a lawyer with a heat seeking penis that never reports to mission control? And what about the entire police force?

Mad Cows Reviews

  • Bark

    This book couldn’t have been unfunnier if it were about poor cows suffering from Mad Cow disease. It’s chick lit, not my favorite genre, but every now and then I come across a gem that I actually like. This wasn’t one of them.It’s about a brand new mom who just wanted to buy some prunes to help move things along but instead winds up in jail after a series of stupid coincidental calamities. We get to listen to her inane and crude thoughts as she prattles on about baby poop, drooping belli [...]

  • Jayne

    It's a terrible terrible book. So terrible that I kept reading it out of a kind of horrified fascination to see where the author was going with the story. It's supposed to be funny but I didn't laugh out loud once. Not even a chuckle.

  • Meredith Walker

    disappointing a rubbish story told in a crass manner by someone who should know better. there is a fine line between sarcasm and humour and Kathy and Lette has totally missed it this time.

  • The Twins

    I made it to disk 7 but found it unbearable to listen to it any further. I know it is all lighthearted and ironic - I just didn't find it funny or entertaining at all.

  • Nicky

    When I was about 14 I got it into my head that I needed to stop reading Katherine Applegate's Making Out series over and over again and start reading proper adult books. To this end I borrowed Mad Cows from a family friend. I remember two things from it:-The young one compares her pre-pregnancy nipples to Jelly Babies. A distressing and unsavoury association that will never leave my brain.-The old one makes fun of babygrows/onesies during a job interview or something, only to realise that the in [...]

  • John

    Sometimes you're desperate for something brainless and shallow to read; in my case, I tend to get my hands on pulp paperbacks that my (highly educated, intelligent, strategy consultant) girlfriend leaves lying around -- the same person who repeatedly tries to explain to me why high-powered female executives fight each other for fashion and gossip magazines on Friday evening commuter flights. This was brainless and shallow, and somehow entertaining, I can't explain how, like playing Solitaire on [...]

  • Sharon

    I really struggled through this book. To me Kathy Lette is a mixture of witty one liners and total vulgarity. When she's good she's good but Mad Cows unfortunately fell into the latter category and stayed there throughout. The subject matter being quite hard hitting - the welfare of a baby while the mother is first arrested and then goes on the run - and it really doesn't lend itself to the comic, blase style of the book. Tasteless and I wish I hadn't bothered.

  • Jayne Charles

    The pace of the humour in this book was so frenetic it was like being assaulted. In any situation, jokes have primacy. It doesn't matter how dramatic or tragic a situation the characters find themselves in, they will always get a pun in at the very least. This is literature for people who want to have their funny bone tickled from the word go, and who don't mind a creaky overblown plot and a cast of exaggerated stereotypes. I swear there were no likeable men at all in this book, but we needn't w [...]

  • Booksofdoom

    This is a hilarious and fast book about a mother with a small baby.The story begins with Maddy, the mother being at her first trip to the mall after the birth of her son Jack. The father, Alex Drake documentary filmmaker, turned out to be a jerk and Maddy left him. Her boobs are leaking, the baby stinks of poop and with a bag of dried plums in her jacket pocket, she's accused of shopliftingd disturbing the peace (breastfeeding in a public place).Suddenly both Maddy and Jack are guests at the wom [...]

  • J.L. Campbell

    Despite the serious nature of the plot, Mad Cows was a hilarious read from start to finish. Maddy’s a foreigner in England, has few friends, and faces a situation so much bigger than herself. She does some crazy things, but in the end makes the best choice for herself and her baby.Though the book mostly felt like a light-hearted read, Lette took jabs at ‘perfect parents’, you know the ones who know all there is to know about parenting and engage their children in a whirlwind of activities? [...]

  • Kel Sta

    This book is a follow-on from another I haven't yet read (that I can recall). It's not much more than a vehicle for a succession of witty one-liners, which are clever and amusing for the most part, but wear on the reader a little in places that might have been better served by plausible and enthralling plot development. At least the ending narrowly avoids the done-to-death romantic happy-ever-after cliche, but not really by supplying an intriguing twist to the story. Much else (such as, um, men) [...]

  • Katherine

    This was ok. I found it an amusing read at the start but the last third became a bit tedious and just too unrealistic to make it funny.I did like the characterisation of maddi which was well developed but some of the lesser characters could have done with more attention.Kathy Lette is one of those chick lit authors I can take or leave. She has some flashes of brilliance in her writing and then takes the joke too far.

  • Pat Morris-jones

    Not my sort of book. Almost gave up on several occasions when I though that I didn't care what happened. Stayed with it as it was the only audiobook I had downloaded and it was easy listening. There are some passages that are really well written, sadly wasted in a story that has no point. This author can write well I think. Sadly chick lit is not my genre so to me it seems a waste. Author is disagreeing with me all the way to the bank. Haha

  • ThatBookGal

    This was not for me at all, I felt like the story had promise but the style of writing just wasn't to my taste. I found the primary character to be hugely irritating, and her secondary counterpart to be far more interesting. Perhaps I'm not the generation this is aimed at, but I really didn't click with the language used. Would probably avoid this author in the future.

  • Anne Peachey

    An new Aussie Mum taking her baby for their first outing becomes a nightmare!Arrested for shoplifting and ending up in Holloway Woman's Prison is just the beginning of an unforgettable journey for Maddy.Kathy Lette is undeniably a straight talker and some parts of this book may shock and dismay the reader. I loved it and loved the Aussie Slang that is sprinkled through it.

  • Sarah

    I really didn't find this funny like I used to. maddy was annoying the prose was trying too hard to be witty and irreverent and for one page a characters name changed for no reason from mamma joy to mamma June. I feel a little disappointed because I feel sure the first time I read this about 10 years ago I loved it.

  • Sarah

    Can't remember when I first read this book and its companion "Foetal Attraction" but I've re-read them whenever I needed a bit of cheering up! Kathy Lette is known as The Master of Tongue-Fu - a right rollicking read!

  • Kate Millin

    Always wondered what the appeal of this author was - and still am. I did not enjoy this read- not my type of book at all, although there were some humourous one liners it did not make me laugh or even smile.

  • Reanne Malett

    very chick lit but bearable

  • Sabrina

    Hilarious, loved it.

  • Sita

    The writing is funny but the story itself is not. I find it rather depressing actually. I chuckled while reading it, but couldn't erase the fact that ultimately it is a sad story.

  • Irene

    A nightmare scenario but SO funny!

  • Victoria Spicer-stuart

    Not worth the ink.

  • Rebecca

    Didn't get past the second chapter as I felt that I was being bombarded with every how-can-I-make-this-situation-funny scenario that there was. It got bring and repetitive after the first chapter.

  • Ray

    very funny, however it is dumbing down and could give the reader more credit.

  • Louise Ludbrook

    It was a nice, quick and easy read. I could relate to some of it being a mother myself and found some bits about pregnancy quite funny. It was a bit of a strange plot but still enjoyable.

  • Vesna

    I did not like it at all, why on Earth did I read it?

  • Kiwileese


  • Surina Knott-craig

    Entertaining. Still loved it!

  • Tracy

    This was a fun laugh out loud read.Check out my ourbookclub full review at Kathy Lette